Five questions after a hard decision

As a manager you make decisions that affect people. A placement, a redeployment, turning down someone in your team who asked for something important, a choice of priorities in a budget that won't stretch. Afterwards the decision often comes home with you and goes round your head in the evening.

This worksheet is one way to deal with what is left after a hard decision. It is my own format, built on my years as a manager and my work with reflective conversations. It is not a scientifically tested tool, and you are welcome to change the questions so they suit you.

Before you start#

• Time: 15 minutes. Set a timer.
• You need: pen and paper. Write by hand if you can. Many people find it easier to stay with each question that way.
• When: the same day as the decision, or the day after. Ideally before you go home.

The time limit matters, because otherwise thoughts easily start going in circles. Diary research that followed leaders day by day found that on evenings when they brooded over how work made them feel, they felt more drained the next day. That says nothing about these particular questions, but it is why the worksheet has a time limit.

Question 1. What did I decide, in one sentence?#

Write the decision down as briefly as you can. For example: "I said no to a team member's request for unpaid leave this autumn." Keeping it to one sentence forces you to find the core. Everything that made it hard comes in the next question.

My decision:

Question 2. What did I know then, and what do I know now?#

Divide the page into two columns. On the left, write what you knew when you decided. On the right, write what you have learned since.

This question is there to protect you from hindsight. A decision should be judged on the information you had. If something new has come to light, write it down, but don't judge the decision by it.

• What I knew then:
• What I know now:

Question 3. Who is affected, and who needs to hear from me?#

Write down the names. Then tick the ones who already know what you decided and why. The ones without a tick are your to-do list.

This question is easy to forget. A hard decision is often easier for everyone to carry when those it affects have heard it from you, with a reason, and know who they can turn to.

• Who is affected:
• Who needs to hear from me:

Question 4. What in this decision do I stand by, whatever happens?#

This is the most important question. You can rarely control the outcome. A well-founded decision can turn out badly, and a poor one can turn out well. What you can stand by is your reasons, your values and the way you went about it.

Write one or two sentences that begin "I stand by …". If you can't write that sentence, it is worth thinking about what doesn't sit right.

I stand by …

Question 5. What will I do the same next time, and what will I change?#

Write one of each. Only one. That is enough for the lesson to be usable, and it stops you writing a long list of everything you should have done.

• What I will do the same:
• What I will change:

When the timer goes off#

Read through what you have written once. Do what you wrote under question 3, or put it in your calendar. Then fold the paper and put it somewhere you won't see it tonight.

The decision is made, and you have thought it through. You are allowed to put it down.

Doing it together#

This worksheet is written for you on your own. Much of it can also be done with a team, and there the research is richer. A meta-analysis of 46 studies found that reviews after a task, known as debriefs, on average improved performance compared with control groups, for teams and individuals alike. Debriefs that were structured and facilitated worked best. Many of the studies involved simulations and training, and they measured how well the task was done. They say nothing about how it feels after a hard decision in social services.

A meta-analysis of team reflexivity, meaning a team pausing to think about how it works, found that it goes with better performance, and that the benefit depends on things like team size and how long the team has existed. When leaders invited their staff into discussions and decisions, that went with more psychological safety in the team and more reflection. That part rests on associations.

For a team, questions 2, 3 and 5 can work well at a team meeting a week after a decision that affected everyone. Question 4 is more personal and better kept for yourself, or for a conversation with someone you trust.

When it won't let go#

Sometimes a quarter of an hour isn't enough. If a decision keeps circling week after week, or you sleep badly because of it, it can help to take it to a colleague, your manager or your supervision group. If it affects your sleep and well-being over a longer time, talk to your occupational health service or a doctor (in Sweden, through 1177, the national healthcare advice line).

If you would like to try the questions with someone listening, we can take a decision you are carrying right now into a free intro call.